Being A Navy Wife

Being A Navy Wife

People ask me, “How can you do it?” Usually this is asked during a difficult period like when my husband is on a six -month deployment to a potential war zone (yes, this means he is gone for 6 months). We went through 2 of these in the 3 years we were in San Diego, along with various 1-2 week separations when he would call to tell me they weren’t coming back Friday night as planned and he would see me Monday. "How?", they ask. Because I can. It’s not a descriptive answer, but it is an accurate one. Supporting our nation’s military when I consider myself a pacifist would seem like a contradiction to a lot of people, but only if you choose not to see the whole picture and ignore most of human nature.

I do believe in having a trained line of defense at all times. Even when things seem to be going well, there is always the possibility that some fanatic with really high aspirations will throw us a punch when we’re least expecting it. No one thought that Japan would attack Pearl Harbor, that’s why we weren’t ready for it. No one thought terrorists on a suicide mission would ever attempt to hijack domestic airline flights, but they did. Whenever I try to think of a good way to explain why I believe there should always be some kind of trained Military organization to keep up defensive roles, I think of the movie Demolition Man that starred Sylvester Stallone and Sandra Bullock. I will always remember the line that was spoken by one of the police officers who was supposed to be a successor of the current LAPD, “We’re police officers, we’re not trained to handle this kind of violence.” Exactly. Even in the seemingly most perfect situations, some idiot can always come in and screw it up. It’s happened before, and it can always happen again.

So, does this mean that I agree with everything our government does? Of course not. Rarely do I completely agree with anything they try to do, but unless I run for Office someday, which I have no intention of doing, the best I can do is make it known when I don’t agree with the job being done and try to do my part by doing what I think is right. Supporting our Military personnel does not always have to mean supporting our government's decisions, and since we live in a free country where we are allowed to voice our opinions whenever we want, this is ok.

Do I think being a Navy Wife is easy? Absolutely not, just because someone is good at something doesn’t always mean that it is easy. It’s never easy when my husband is away, like he was about half the time we were in San Diego. It certainly wasn’t easy spending my First Wedding Anniversary by myself, waiting for his phone call from Hong Kong and counting down the days until he got back, or our 3rd anniversary. Not to mention more that one birthday, and the Christmas he was in the Persian Gulf during Operation Desert Fox, and I didn’t hear from him at all for over 2 months (actually this is a short period of time compared to what some of my peers have endured, but then it was a time of "peace"). Then there was the time he was sent to Saudi Arabia for 2 months that began less than 2 months after we arrived in Bahrain, while we were at war, and only 5 days after moving into our new house so I had to unpack most of our things and get settled in by myself. Oh, yes, and the episode approx 18 months after that when the Navy Families were "relocated" out of Bahrain and I ended up moving in with my parents in Rhode Island because I was 23 weeks pregnant at the time.  Oh, and don't even get me started about Washington (the State on the West Coast, not the Capital of our Country) I paint a decent picture of that duty station in my Who Am I bio and lets just leave it at that.

All of this being said, I still know I have it easy compared to those of my peers who's loved ones are or have been right in the middle of complete chaos and violence, and/or have lost that loved one forever.

So, "Why do I do it?" Because I believe deep down, no matter how much I might disagree with current policy and some of the things he may be ordered to do by our government, that the ideals behind what he is doing is important, and those kinds of things are most often the hardest things to do.